Challenges

During my reading this week I found this gem in the July 2014 Ensign: "I began to see similarities between my struggles and other people’s seemingly unrelated challenges. I discovered that often their problems, like mine, followed the pattern God set for Adam and Eve when he said to them, “Cursed is the ground for thy sake; … thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; … in the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground” (Genesis 3:17–19). In other words, Adam and Eve had to consistently and recurrently work very hard to tame things that spontaneously grew out of control in their lives, but in a sense, God cursed the ground and caused the thorns to grow for their sakes. This insight helped me to recognize the numerous blessings I had experienced in my life by working through my challenges."

I loved that thought!!:)  I love the idea that the things that we constantly have to tame (like for me: yelling at my kids, going to bed on time, organizing my day, exercising, computer addictions) are to help us grow, they are our thorns and thistles. Everyone has thorns and thistles in their lives. And thorns and thistles aren't the same for every person.  As we turn to God then we receive the help that we need to tame our thorns and thistles, but it takes sweat (work) to overcome. Although I am often frustrated by my inability to overcome my thorns and thistles, I am grateful for my body and for the opportunity to work to overcome them.  After all, "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." (Phillpians 4:13)

Change is good!!:)

When Chad and I were first married, we waned to be "newlyweds" forever!!:)  I remember anytime someone asked us how long we'd been married, we were just so giddy!!:)  And then something changed, I don't know what, but people don't ask us how long we've been married anymore, we aren't young newlyweds anymore and I was feeling sorry for myself.  Then I read Gift from the Sea, (I've already done a post on this amazing book) and now it makes sense why I can't be a newlywed anymore and why it is okay!!:)  She compares it to shells on the beach, but I think it really is just stages of life.  The newlywed stage is an amazing stage, full of new love and life, but it wasn't meant to last.  The stage of life I am in right now is a trying stage, but if our marriages don't have trials, then how can we grow?  We are building, building careers, families, raising children, busy.  We are devoted to each other, even if our time isn't always spent together.  I love this quote from the book, "Love is looking out together in the same direction, working outward."  If our love isn't growing then it must be withering away.  And I would say that my love is growing!!:)  I definitely love DH more today than ever before!:)  I love him for different reasons though, my love isn't just the infatuation, butterflies in the stomach love (although I have those too!:) I love him because he is so good to me, I love him because we sacrifice for each other, I love that he is so willing to serve me, but in turn I serve him too, we are equally yoked.  I love him because of who he is, not just how he makes me feel!:)

Another great quote from the book, "we shouldn't judge our relationships on how they used to be."  So I am now satisfied with my relationship!!:)  I don't need to be a newlywed anymore, because I'm not and that is okay!!:) I'd rather have my relationship growing than withering away, because honestly nothing ever stays the same!

Cleaving

"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24)  I thought I had this scripture all figured out, but I was recently reminded to put my husband first!

I know that I am supposed to be part of this school group.  I have prayed about it over and over and every time I think about it I just get a feeling that I am supposed to continue on with this school group.  Well a few of them have read Skousen and are really big into the details of the Second Coming, many of which are not detailed (at least not to the point that they detail them in the scriputres).  They are constantly talking about these events with such surety it is hard to not believe them.  And I believe that they are all spiritual women, leaders even.  DH however, has a hard time with all that they are saying.  He wants the proof.  (I've never been good with proofs, kind of ironic for a math major!!:) 

So last week after classes and hearing all this information, I came home and talked to DH on the phone for lunch, and I just went on a rampage, a rampage I didn't even know I had inside.  I chastised DH for not having an open heart and refusing to listen to what this group had to say.  I asked him to open his heart more and pray about these things before declaring unequivocally that they were not true.

After our conversation I didn't feel super good, but I didn't realize it.  I did however have this impression to call one of my amazing friends. I had no idea why I needed to call her, but I did!!:)  So I talked to her for a bit, and she kept digging and all of a sudden all of the "trial" came out to her.  She told me some of the exact same things that DH had said: stick to the basic doctrine, deep doctrine and speculations are not necessary for our salvation. She reminded me that I needed to talk with DH about the things that I learned and then we could study it out for ourselves and pray about it, but the decision that we come to is our decision and I need to support my husband in this.  I need to cleave to him, not my friends.

It was so powerful and a good reminder what my place is.  I know that when I start hearing all of these "prophecies" I start to worry that I still have so much to get ready and I am not at all ready, but this week, I've been reminded that I am doing what is right for me.  A lot of these moms are farther down the path then me and the expectations for them are going to be different than the expectations for me.

Since heeding that advice, I have felt so much clearer and free!:)  I am so glad for friends that give me the advice that I need (who are truly ministering angels!!:), and especially for a Heavenly Father who knows me and what I need and inspires me to follow His path to fulfill my personal mission!!:)

Creating a House of Order

So back in Dec./Jan. I read this blog post on thepeacefulmom.com!  She talks about creating a word for the year that you work on all year.  I decided that I wanted to do this (at least this year) and the first phrase that popped into my head was: "house of order," so I wrote the scripture from D&C 88:119 on my marker board and have been working on creating a house of order.

My first thoughts were I needed to create order to our routine, so I have been working on that (although there is still much to work on, we have made progress!:).  We sat down as a family for FHE and created some routines that we wanted to have.  We also added order to our prayer routine, and since we have 5 members of our family and should say 5 prayers every day then we created a rotation so that everyone gets to say 1 prayer every day!!:)  I love that since we started that there has been no whining or complaining about who gets to say the prayers!!:)

Then my thoughts went to organizing my house.  I searched online for House of order, found some websites, started working on purging my house, but I haven't gotten very far (really, I've only cleaned my bedroom and the storage room downstairs really good), but I am making progress in that aspect too!!:)

So in doing those 2 things I would create a house of order, and since it is only May and I still have 7 1/2 months of the year left, I figured I was doing pretty good, until yesterday when I was reading my scriptures.  I read in Moroni 9:18 that the people were "without order." That got me thinking, what does that phrase without order mean, does it have to do with righteousness?  So I decided to look up "order" in Merriam Webster's free app dictionary and then in Noah Webster's 1828 dictionary. I learned so much!:)

First of all you have the normal definitions that I think of (I didn't write down all of the definitions, because I felt like some of them didn't apply to my desire to create a house of order): 1 - put in proper place 2- straightening so as to eliminate confusion (I like this reason for creating a house of order, to eliminate confusion!:) 3-setting in a relationship - wait, there can be order to my relationships, oh yeah, there should be, you have grandfather, father, son, that is an order to a relationship, but this can go a lot deeper! 4- gathering and arranging in preparation of a particular operation or effective use.  Wow!:)  I felt like I needed to create a house of order to help our family prepare for something big that is going to happen (although I have no idea what this "big" thing is!:)  But this definition hit hard, creating a house of order is so much more important than creating routines and making sure your house is clean (even though these are included in it).  It is making sure that your life is ready for whatever may come.  It is making sure that everything has it's proper place. 5- arranging so that the whole works together-each part having a proper function.  This definition is so important for creating a house of order.  Everything has to work together and in order to do that, every family member must have a function and do their function correctly.  6- under religious rule.  I liked that definition, I don't know that I need to change much for that one, but I like it!:) 7- state of peace, freedom from confused or unruly behavior; shouldn't that be our goal, peace.

From Noah's dictionary I didn't get much more, but I liked some of the definitions: 1- order is the life of business; good order is the foundation of all good things. 2-care 3-purpose

So I have some things to work on in creating my house of order, but I also have some direction!!:)

Musing on Gift from the Sea

I recently read Gift from the Sea twice!  Yep, that's right, I read it twice.  I didn't intend to read it twice, but I joined a book colloquium and happened to read the book before I listened to the audio sent out for the club.  In the audio the mentor of the book club gave very specific instructions on how to read the book, which of course I didn't do because I didn't know them, and he encouraged us if we had read the book already that we needed to read it again, so I did!!:)

I learned so much from this book.  The most important lesson to me was to simplify my life!:)  In fact before the second reading I went through my 2 of my DD's clothes and allowed them to pick only 10 shirts each (they both had a drawer full of shirts!:)  It was amazing!!:)  I would love for my life to be more simple!!:)

The second time through I was told by the mentors of the club it was okay to disagree with a book and to ask specific questions.  I was also told to look for how the book teaches me about how to read a classic!!:) So with that, here is some of what I learned form Gift from the Sea:

What does this book teach me about reading a classic?  Well I must read for myself, because my mission is different than anyone else's including the authors! Keep it simple, I don't always have to come away with something profound!:)  I don't need to worry about impressing other people, I need to feel open and share what I really think.  I need to become lost in the classics and harmonize with them!:)  Read classics with a purpose, then I will be filled so I have no need of "candy" books (books that teach you nothing, but are enjoyable to read - most of the LDS fiction that I read falls into this category!:)  I need to pray as I read the classics.  As I read classics I can find my center and learn about myself!  The light shed by any good book illuminates all life!:)  I can't read all of the classics, so I must be selective, but I must read a variety!:)

What I disagreed with:  In the book she talks about a need to achieve balance.  I've written about this previously here.  But just to re-clarify, balance implies that everything is equal, we don't need that in life, we need harmony, where everything flows!  

In the book Anne Lindbergh declares that women's normal occupations (children, relationships) run counter to a saintly life.  I disagree, women's normal occupations lead to a saintly life!!:)  In rearing children and building relationships is true love and joy found!:)  When we are occupied in these occupations, we are turning to God and in a small way becoming like him!!:)

Anne talks about how we need to work from the outside in, but I think the only lasting change is if you change the inner.  If you do not change on the inside, then your outside change will not last.  Alma 60:23 (but throughout the wars this is proved time and again!:) it says, "Do ye suppose that God will look upon you as guiltless while ye sit still and behold these things? Behold I say unto you, Nay. Now I would that ye should remember that God has said that the inward vessel shall be cleansed first, and then shall the outer vessel be cleansed also."

She often mentions that women need solitude.  I think what she is saying is they need a time to meditate and talk to God and really know what he wants for them!!:)

Anne mentions that we are all island.  I both agree and disagree with her.  In some ways we are all islands, because we can only change ourselves, but we have a duty to other people to warn, and help, and in that way we are not all islands!  If we were meant to live life alone, then we would have been put on earth one at a time.

I don't agree that husbands and wives should take a lot of vacations separately, but I do think that we all need time to ourselves, to meditate and reflect on life!:)  If we regularly take this time, then we won't need a long vacation!:)  She also says that man and wife can't completely share with each other.  I disagree.  The scriptures command man and wife to become one and I know that it is possible, but it is only possible as both become one with God!:)

And here are some little nuggets that I learned: In order to touch others I must be in touch with myself.  We are hungry for purposeful giving and so we often try to fill that hunger with distractions.  Satan uses distractions to prevent women (and men) from filling their wells so they can really give.  In order to find yourself you must lose yourself!:)  I must find my true center on my own. In my community of friends I need people who are very different from me, different ages, gender, interests....  Modern communication loads us with more problems than the human frame can carry.  Because of the internet, TV, and newspapers we know of a lot more problems in the world, and it weighs us down.  As women we want to be able to help people and fix people, but our minds are overburdened with too many problems that we can't fix.  And finally the problems of the world can only be solved by men and women working side by side!!:)

I loved this book and I plan to read it again and again!!:)  I hope that you enjoyed what I wrote about it and maybe it has inspired you to check it out, it is a short book, that I believe is well worth your time!!:)