“After all that has been said and done, after he has led this people so long, do you not perceive that there is a lack of confidence in our God? Can you perceive it in yourselves? You may ask, ‘[Brother] Brigham, do you perceive it in yourself?’ I do, I can see that I yet lack confidence, to some extent, in him whom I trust.—Why? Because I have not the power, in consequence of that which the fall has brought upon me. …
“… Something rises up within me, at times[,] that measurably draws a dividing line between my interest and the interest of my Father in heaven; something that makes my interest and the interest of my Father in heaven not precisely one.
“I know that we should feel and understand, as far as possible, as far as fallen nature will let us, as far as we can get faith and knowledge to understand ourselves, that the interest of that God whom we serve is our interest, and that we have no other, neither in time nor in eternity.” (as quoted by D. Todd Christofferson, Ensign, April 2011)
I feel that in some areas of my life I am so willing to leave everything in God's hands and completely trust Him, but in other areas, it seems my faith and trust seem to always be lacking. For example my budget. Even though God has proven that we will make it through I find myself constantly doubting and worrying. 3 years ago I had no idea how we were going to financially live the last year of Chad's schooling. For the first year I knew we would be okay because of our savings, but I had no idea how we would make it the second year. However, Chad was able to make enough money working part time for us to not only survive, but thrive. We did so well that we were able to put 10% down on a house -for us quite the accomplishment. Yet here I am again, wondering how we are going to make it the next few years and put a lawn in and a fence and...
"And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin;
And yet I say unto you, that even Solomon, in all his glory, was not arrayed like one of these.
Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is cast into the oven, even so will he clothe you, if ye are not of little faith."
Mostly, I've just decided that I really need to work on my trust in God, trusting Him in all things. Knowing that He knows me better than I know me and He knows my needs better than I do.
