I love me!!!

No this is not a narcissist blog.  I  have just come to realize that I really need to love me!!:)  Heavenly Father loves me, so why don't I love myself?  In my goal/plan to learn who I am and what my purpose is I discovered that not only do I need to see myself as Heavenly Father's creation - beautiful! But I also need to love myself!!:)

I don't often beat myself up...I can forgive myself for not being perfect, for yelling at my kids (I'm working on it!:), for not having a clean house, for not accomplishing all my goals, because let's face it, failure is one step on the path to success!!:)  But I discovered that I need to tell myself that I love me, because I don't love myself, I don't always see me as beautiful...but I'm going to start!!!  And until I can actually love myself, I will bask in Heavenly Father's love and realize that his love is enough for me!!:)

So if you haven't recently tell yourself in the mirror that you are beautiful and you love you!!!:)

Daniel and food

So I was recently reading about Daniel to my 4 year old dd from the scripture reader.  We were reading about Daniel in the king's court when we was a child and how he refused to eat the king's gluttonous food and instead ate "pulse" or really good food.  At the end of the 10 day trial Daniel and his friends were healthier and wiser.  I've been trying to get healthier and I think a big part of that is we are surrounded by food that has been changed, loaded with sugars and fats to get us addicted to them and keep us buying.  And I know for me to some degree it has worked (Like I said, I'm working on being healthier!!:)  and for society it has definitely worked.  And the worst part is we are not only unhealthier with tons of medical conditions, but we are also stupider.

I keep looking at all of our medical conditions and wonder how many of them would be solved if we just ate healthy.  If we began working in our gardens (maybe the prophet's counsel wasn't just for food storage...) and making healthier eating decisions.  So often we try to fix our health problems with a quick pill or a surgery, but if we were as dedicated to eating healthy a lot of our health problems would disappear!!:)

My friend recently shared a perfect thought...we look back on the Israelites and say it was so easy to look at that serpent and live, why did so many of you die?  But maybe they are looking at us thinking it is so easy to eat healthy especially in a world where you can have fruits and vegetables all year long, why are so many of you dying and unhealthy.

I won't always eat perfect, but I know that as I try to eat better, I will feel better, I will live better and I will be wiser!!:)

Forgiveness from A Tale of Two Cities

So I recently read A Tale of Two Cities.  I have to admit I was intimidated at first, but someone suggested reading through the plot summary (which was pretty intense in and of itself) and that helped a ton!!:)  I was able to see a lot of foreshadowing at least and look forward to the end of the book, where all the good stuff is!:)

One of the most interesting characters to me was Madam Defarge.  I felt so sad for her because she let her desire for revenge overtake her and in the end it got her killed.  And Dickens, as I guess he likes to do, gave us a parallel character in Lucie Manette.  Both had their family stripped from them unfairly; Lucie ends up being sweet though even before her father is "recalled to life."  Madam Defarge however is infuriated by her loss of family.  I just look at Madam Defarge and think you could have had a rewarding life, you could have chosen to forgive, but instead you let this evil fester inside of you and destroy you. 

One of my favorite quotes from the book is: "the vigorous tenacity of love, always so much stronger than hate." I guess I found Madam Defarge's choice interesting in light of a recent women's stake conference I went to. The keynote speaker repeatedly told us we always have a choice to make.  Every time something bad (or good:) happens to us we can choose the path of happiness or we can choose the path of misery.  Every choice we make leads us to happiness or misery.  When Heavenly Father asks us to forgive it isn't because of the other person, it is because if we choose not to forgive misery festers inside us until we can no longer feel happiness and evil consumes our thoughts.  When we choose not to forgive we choose our eternal destruction.

Comforting...

So I was recently studying Mosiah 18:8-9 and I learned something I would like to share.  First of all let me post the scriptures: "8 And it came to pass that he said unto them: Behold, here are the waters of Mormon (for thus were they called) and now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light;

 9 Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life—"

So what I learned is a good way to comfort someone.  I always thought the three ways listed were just randomly put down, but now I know they were not.  First we must lighten the person's burdens, then we must be willing to mourn with them and then we can give them comfort.  How powerful!  As I thought about this revelation a little bit more it made sense to me.  So often we burden ourselves so that we cannot truly mourn, so in order to be able to mourn we have to have our burdens lightened, and then after we have mourned we can be comforted!!!:)

Faces and Hope

So I recently read The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis.  I love his books!!:)  Anyway, I read it as part of a book club and I learned so much more about the book from the book club, so yea for book clubs!!!:) 

My first thought is what is holding each ghost back?  So I took notes on each ghost and it seemed it mostly came down to pride and selfishness; they wouldn't give up their sin, for a glorious life.  I know we all have our favorite sins, but as I read through I couldn't really relate to any of the ghosts specific sins.  I definitely have sins of omission, I spend too much time on the computer when I should be doing more productive things (basically I don't use my time wisely) and I do yell at my kids sometimes - it is really hard for me to overcome this one.  I can be pushy, and although I know better I do compare myself to others and judge others unkindly. (This is part of my trying to be more real!:)

Then I went to book club and we started talking about the dwarf ghost who held a tragedian on a chain.  We talked about how he was living with a face, instead of being who he really was.  And I realized that I do that all the time.  In fact when I was first married it drove my husband crazy.  Haha!:)  But I would be upset and then we would have to go somewhere and I would be happy the whole time we were there and as soon as we were alone again I would be upset.  On the one hand I'm glad that I can show my true self to those who I truly love (my husband, and a few good friends), but at the same time I wish I could be my true and real self all the time to everyone.  Sometimes I think that people won't like me as much or think as highly of me if I were who I really was, but time after time that has been proven wrong to me, I guess I ought to just get over my pride and become real!!!:)

One other thing that I really liked in the book; we didn't see too many endings, so there was hope for most of the ghosts in the book and the Spirit that meets the narrator tells him that if there is even a spark inside the ghost that the spirits will flame it until it burns bright!!!:)

I also liked the scene where the ghost overcomes his obstacle and is the better for it.  How true that is; sometimes in life, it is so hard to give up our sins, we think we are going to die without them, but when we finally let them go we are changed for the better.  The letting go does hurt us, but the sacrifice is worth it!!!:)

--"For most followers of Christ, our sacrifices involve what we can do on a day-to-day basis in our ordinary personal  lives."  Dallin H. Oaks, Sacrifice, April 2012 Conference