Faces and Hope

So I recently read The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis.  I love his books!!:)  Anyway, I read it as part of a book club and I learned so much more about the book from the book club, so yea for book clubs!!!:) 

My first thought is what is holding each ghost back?  So I took notes on each ghost and it seemed it mostly came down to pride and selfishness; they wouldn't give up their sin, for a glorious life.  I know we all have our favorite sins, but as I read through I couldn't really relate to any of the ghosts specific sins.  I definitely have sins of omission, I spend too much time on the computer when I should be doing more productive things (basically I don't use my time wisely) and I do yell at my kids sometimes - it is really hard for me to overcome this one.  I can be pushy, and although I know better I do compare myself to others and judge others unkindly. (This is part of my trying to be more real!:)

Then I went to book club and we started talking about the dwarf ghost who held a tragedian on a chain.  We talked about how he was living with a face, instead of being who he really was.  And I realized that I do that all the time.  In fact when I was first married it drove my husband crazy.  Haha!:)  But I would be upset and then we would have to go somewhere and I would be happy the whole time we were there and as soon as we were alone again I would be upset.  On the one hand I'm glad that I can show my true self to those who I truly love (my husband, and a few good friends), but at the same time I wish I could be my true and real self all the time to everyone.  Sometimes I think that people won't like me as much or think as highly of me if I were who I really was, but time after time that has been proven wrong to me, I guess I ought to just get over my pride and become real!!!:)

One other thing that I really liked in the book; we didn't see too many endings, so there was hope for most of the ghosts in the book and the Spirit that meets the narrator tells him that if there is even a spark inside the ghost that the spirits will flame it until it burns bright!!!:)

I also liked the scene where the ghost overcomes his obstacle and is the better for it.  How true that is; sometimes in life, it is so hard to give up our sins, we think we are going to die without them, but when we finally let them go we are changed for the better.  The letting go does hurt us, but the sacrifice is worth it!!!:)

--"For most followers of Christ, our sacrifices involve what we can do on a day-to-day basis in our ordinary personal  lives."  Dallin H. Oaks, Sacrifice, April 2012 Conference

New Year Ramblings

So I often write blog posts in my head, or at least start them in my head, but they rarely actually make it onto the blog.  I'm going to try to do better and actually record my thoughts!!!!:)

So  here are some random thoughts.  First of all about New Year's resolutions, I don't believe in them, haha!!:)  I do believe in goals though and I make goals all the time, currently I have been doing a 6-month inventory (not every 6 months, haha) and a weekly goal list!!!:)  Lucky for me I don't feel guilty when I don't accomplish everything in my goal list!!!:)  I work my hardest to accomplish what I can, but at the end of the day I realize that I have 3 little girls to take care of and if it doesn't get done, oh well!!!:)  So as for New Year's resolutions, mine happen whenever I need them, not just January 1- whenever, and most of the time I am trying to make my life better and make lifelong changes, whereas I think a lot of New Year's resolutions are over by Valentine's Day.

Okay, so second thought.  Yesterday we were chastised by our stake president for not going to stake conference.  I love stake conference and I hope that everyone who reads this goes!!:)  It is such a great opportunity to be instructed by our local leaders, and I have found that our local leaders really are inspired to help us in our needs!!:)  Especially the Adult session of stake conference...I've tried to attend as many of those as possible, although it isn't always possible (last time my husband had his high school reunion that we'd already paid for by the time we found out about stake conference, too bad.)  The sad thing is that we only had 10% attendance at the last adult session...how sad.  The adult session is where all the good stuff is taught...plus you don't have any kids as distractions, so you can really glean a lot!!!:)  And yes, my husband took my 2 little girls to stake conference last year when I had my 3rd little girl (I was still in the hospital) and yes we took 3 little girls to stake conference 2 weeks in a row (haha, we went on vacation and it just so happened it was stake conference - and I tell you what, our stake conference was a lot more pertinent to me than the other). 

When I was younger I always took notes during stake conference.  In fact I took notes at a lot of functions!!!:)  Anyway, now that I have 3 little girls, I find it impossible to take notes, I'm lucky to hear half of a talk!!:)  But last stake conference I came home and wrote notes from what I remembered and what really impressed me.  I printed off the paper and stuck it on my mirror in the bathroom, and I've actually read it quite a bit!!:)  And I am excited to get to do it again in a couple weeks, and maybe make some more goals - not new year's resolutions!!:)

~The ability to convert ideas to things is the secret to outward success.
Henry Ward Beecher

Testimony of the Book of Mormon

So I recently finished reading the Book of Mormon.  This time I did something different though...I looked up every single cross reference listed (that means if it said TG Holy Ghost I didn't look that up...that felt like too much to do, but every verse that was mentioned I looked up:).  I don't remember when I started reading it this way, but I know that it took me a very long time to get through it.  However, it was a fun way to read and I did learn things and make new connections!!!:)

I know that the Book of Mormon is amazing...I've read it every day now for over 10 years and I know that it has made me a better person.  I remember in high school when I started reading it every day...the Lord hit me hard with that one...a FHE lesson from my mom, seminary lessons, YM/YW reading challenge, and a story in the Ensign (or maybe the New Era).  And even though my life has changed reading the Book of Mormon every day has not.

I remember telling a Bishop once that I had a testimony of the church (that it was rock solid) and that I knew that it would stay that way as long as I studied the scriptures and prayed every day!!!:)  And I know that my testimony is still strong for doing those things.  I know that the Book of Mormon is the word of God!!:)  In the last 10 years I have done some interesting studies of the Book of Mormon and I know that it is a true book; I know that it contains personal revelation and that revelation can change based on my preparedness to receive it!!:)  The gospel really is line upon line!!:)  I am thankful to have the Book of Mormon in my life!

The Easter Egg Hunt

So my city had an Easter Egg Hunt the day before Easter and my husband and I thought it would be fun to take our daughters to it. We split up, my husband took daughter one (and daughter three who stayed in the stroller) to the 3-4 year old group and I took daughter two to the under 2 group. While we waited my husband told daughter one not to push anyone or take candy from anyone else...etc. Then the horn went off...parents swarmed the section that I was in, I tried to encourage my daughter to get some candy off the ground, by the time she finally got it the candy was all gone. We got 3 things. Then I saw a mom walk by with 3/4 of a bucket full of candy; it left me flabbergasted, there is no way that her child picked up all that candy. We were done, so I went to go find my husband. He told me that parents had swarmed this groups too. That really surprised me, because I know that 3-4 year olds can get candy on their own. He just stayed out and watched our daughter. I still feel so frustrated by this experience. What are parents teaching their young children? Greed? that they can't do things on their own? No wonder we have a society that can't do things for themselves. As we were leaving my husband overheard someone say to their daddy, "I wanted to get an egg" and the dad replied, "well, you just have to be quicker and faster." Really? If we taught our kids lasting principles like sharing then maybe there would have been enough eggs for everyone, after all the fields were loaded with candy. My daughters did have fun, but I don't think that we will go back, it wasn't really worth our time, but it definitely made me more motivated to teach my children important values.

Fasting

I have had a testimony of fasting for a long time. It started when I was about 9. My dad was getting out of the Air Force and for some reason I slept over at my Grandma's house. I remember that she suggested that we fast that my dad would be able to get a job, so we did. And within 2 weeks he had a job!!!:) Then when I was in high school my dad lost his job. He had been without a job for several months and so we got together with his brothers and my grandma and had a family fast. I remember when everyone (that lived close by anyway) was at our house and we were ending the fast. The spirit was so strong; and within 2 days my dad had a job!!

So I know first hand that fasting works and that it is powerful!!!:) However, I haven't followed the letter of the law for fasting for over 2 years now, b/c I've been pregnant/nursing. Sometimes it is really hard, but I've decided to adapt the law and apply it in a spiritual way. Sure, I can't physically fast because my body needs those nutrients, but I can fast from treats and other things that I really like. Typically on a Fast Sunday I will eat a yogurt (which I don't really like) or scrambled/fried eggs with only salt and pepper (I really don't like that). I have found that it helps me to spiritually fast. I think though that I have a hard time sharing my testimony when I fast like this, because for some reason I feel like I am not qualified. I need to overcome that.

Fasting does work, even in my silly way. Fasting is a commandment from a Heavenly Father who loves us. When we are trying our best to be obedient then He blesses us. I know that I am blessed for trying to obey the command to fast. And I know the things I fast for are answered in the Lord's way!