Freedom

I was recently preparing for the Ezra Taft Benson lesson #3, "Freedom of Choice, an Eternal Principle." I read through the lesson and then I read 3 of the referenced talks from the lesson notes (The Ensign article from a BYU devotional address: The Constitutions-A Glorious Standard, Sept. 1987; Not Commanded in All Things, April 1965; and Protecting Freedom—An Immediate Responsibility, Oct. 1966). Instead of being able to go to Relief Society and share the lessons I learned I was asked to substitute in primary (by 2 different teachers, so I know I was supposed to be in primary last week!). I learned so much though that I wanted to share my thoughts here!:) Maybe they will be of benefit to someone!!:)

My first thought actually comes from the book. Ezra Taft Benson shares the scripture from D&C 58, "he that is compelled in all things, the same is a slothful and not a wise servant." God feels our agency is so important that he won't tell us everything that we are supposed to do. So why do we feel that we need to micromanage everyone else around us? I see this happening in HOAs. I know of 2 HOAs, one in Lehi and one in Herriman. With a big desire to make sure their house value doesn't go down, they "compel" everyone in the neighborhood to be the same...you must have so many small, medium, and large bushes in your front yard...you can't have fruit trees (because fruit falls on the ground)...etc. and if you don't we are going to fine you. Another one is common core. Everyone must learn the same thing at the same time. These feel very similar to Satan's plan to me. "Wherefore, because that Satan rebelled against me, and sought to destroy the agency of man, which I, the Lord God, had given him, and also, that I should give unto him mine own power; by the power of mine Only Begotten, I caused that he should be cast down;" (Moses 4:3) Ezra Taft Benson later said, "Those spiritually alert look at the objectives, check the guidelines laid down by the Lord and his prophets, and then prayerfully act—without having to be commanded “in all things.” This attitude prepares men for godhood."  So often we think we have all the answers and know what is best for everyone, when really we know what is best for our family. 

I love this quote from the BYU devotional address: "If we accept the premise that human rights are granted by government, then we must be willing to accept the corollary that they can be denied by government. I, for one, shall never accept that premise. We must ever keep in mind the inspired words of Thomas Jefferson, as found in the Declaration of Independence:

“We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable Rights; that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of happiness; that to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed.”  How scary is that, if we allow the government to give us our basic rights, we also allow them to take away those rights...life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness...

As I watch the laws being put into effect in our country I think how far we are staying from the Constitution: "The powers the people granted to the three branches of government were specifically limited. The Founding Fathers well understood human nature and its tendency to exercise unrighteous dominion when given authority. A Constitution was therefore designed to limit government to certain enumerated functions, beyond which was tyranny."  I see conditions similar to Pre WW2 in the United States and I wonder if we too will accept a Hitler figure by degrees. 

Ezra Taft Benson then asks if we have held true to the principles contained in the Constitution and declares that we have not.  He says if we want to save the Constitution we must do 4 things: 1 -We must be righteous and moral. 2-We must learn the principles of the Constitution and then abide by its precepts. 3- We must become involved in civic affairs. 4-We must make our influence felt by our vote, our letters, and our advice.  I know that I definitely have some work to do on these instructions.

From his talk in 1965: "The devil knows that if the elders of Israel should ever wake up, they could step forth and help preserve freedom and extend the gospel. Therefore the devil has concentrated, and to a large extent successfully, in neutralizing much of the priesthood. He has reduced them to sleeping giants."  What a wake up call for me that was.  How am I standing up for my freedoms?  Am I just leaving it to other people?  Am I allowing my freedoms to be taken bit by bit because I am too scared or busy to stand up for truth?

From his talk in 1966: "Efforts are being made to deprive man of his free agency, to steal from the individual his liberty . . . There has been an alarming increase in the abandoning of the ideals that constitute the foundation of the Constitution of the United States"  Remember this was given back in 1966.  If our freedoms were being robbed back then they are even more so now.

How are we standing up for our freedoms?  I know I need to be better.  I need to write to my senators/representatives and tell them how I feel.  I need to be more educated on exactly what our freedoms should be.  The constitution was an inspired document (if you don't believe me read, "Plain, Honest Men: The Making of the American Constitution") we need to adhere to the principles that were fought for.  

God lives! He hears and answers prayers!

I have been studying the missionary manual "Preach My Gospel" and as one of the activities it encourages me to write an article about the message of the Restoration.  As I thought about this activity, I felt I needed to put it up on my blog...so I have been procrastinating doing it for 2 weeks, but I am finally here writing this up!:)

"God's not Dead" is a Christian film that recently came out (mostly loved it!:);  I like the name, but  God's not dead is only part of the story, the real story is God lives.

When I think of something that is not dead, it doesn't exactly mean that it is alive. Right now I have some plants that aren't dead, but they aren't producing flowers, or fruit, they are in a dormant state,  an 'I need a break' stage.  But to live, means so much more!  To live is to have life, to be vibrant.  God lives, He is really involved in our lives and He cares about us.  He knows our names!  He cares about our choices.  He is sad when we make bad choices and rejoices when we make good choices.  He gives us ample opportunities to choose good, to choose His Son, Jesus Christ, but he will never force us to choose good.  You can see that he lives in the rainbows that come after a rainstorm, in the helping hands that show up to help after a disaster, and in the random acts of kindness done throughout the world!

Not only does God live, but He hears and answers prayers.  Sometimes the answer is no, even if we really think we deserve our request.  God knows exactly what we need and he has the wisdom that we lack to give us exactly what we need.  Sometimes he lets us experience failure by answering yes.  Sometimes his answer is not right now.  Sometimes we must work for our prayers to be answered.  However, I know that God does answer prayers.

Oftentimes you don't realize that God has really answered your prayers until you look back on those times when you were crying out in desperate need and you look at the outcome of that event.  They say that hindsight is 20/20, and when it comes to prayers I totally agree.

Just because you didn't get the answer you wanted doesn't mean that God didn't answer.  I challenge you to look at the times in your life when you were struggling and see if you can find God in the details.  He will be there, if you look hard enough!

Challenges

During my reading this week I found this gem in the July 2014 Ensign: "I began to see similarities between my struggles and other people’s seemingly unrelated challenges. I discovered that often their problems, like mine, followed the pattern God set for Adam and Eve when he said to them, “Cursed is the ground for thy sake; … thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; … in the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground” (Genesis 3:17–19). In other words, Adam and Eve had to consistently and recurrently work very hard to tame things that spontaneously grew out of control in their lives, but in a sense, God cursed the ground and caused the thorns to grow for their sakes. This insight helped me to recognize the numerous blessings I had experienced in my life by working through my challenges."

I loved that thought!!:)  I love the idea that the things that we constantly have to tame (like for me: yelling at my kids, going to bed on time, organizing my day, exercising, computer addictions) are to help us grow, they are our thorns and thistles. Everyone has thorns and thistles in their lives. And thorns and thistles aren't the same for every person.  As we turn to God then we receive the help that we need to tame our thorns and thistles, but it takes sweat (work) to overcome. Although I am often frustrated by my inability to overcome my thorns and thistles, I am grateful for my body and for the opportunity to work to overcome them.  After all, "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." (Phillpians 4:13)

Change is good!!:)

When Chad and I were first married, we waned to be "newlyweds" forever!!:)  I remember anytime someone asked us how long we'd been married, we were just so giddy!!:)  And then something changed, I don't know what, but people don't ask us how long we've been married anymore, we aren't young newlyweds anymore and I was feeling sorry for myself.  Then I read Gift from the Sea, (I've already done a post on this amazing book) and now it makes sense why I can't be a newlywed anymore and why it is okay!!:)  She compares it to shells on the beach, but I think it really is just stages of life.  The newlywed stage is an amazing stage, full of new love and life, but it wasn't meant to last.  The stage of life I am in right now is a trying stage, but if our marriages don't have trials, then how can we grow?  We are building, building careers, families, raising children, busy.  We are devoted to each other, even if our time isn't always spent together.  I love this quote from the book, "Love is looking out together in the same direction, working outward."  If our love isn't growing then it must be withering away.  And I would say that my love is growing!!:)  I definitely love DH more today than ever before!:)  I love him for different reasons though, my love isn't just the infatuation, butterflies in the stomach love (although I have those too!:) I love him because he is so good to me, I love him because we sacrifice for each other, I love that he is so willing to serve me, but in turn I serve him too, we are equally yoked.  I love him because of who he is, not just how he makes me feel!:)

Another great quote from the book, "we shouldn't judge our relationships on how they used to be."  So I am now satisfied with my relationship!!:)  I don't need to be a newlywed anymore, because I'm not and that is okay!!:) I'd rather have my relationship growing than withering away, because honestly nothing ever stays the same!

Cleaving

"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24)  I thought I had this scripture all figured out, but I was recently reminded to put my husband first!

I know that I am supposed to be part of this school group.  I have prayed about it over and over and every time I think about it I just get a feeling that I am supposed to continue on with this school group.  Well a few of them have read Skousen and are really big into the details of the Second Coming, many of which are not detailed (at least not to the point that they detail them in the scriputres).  They are constantly talking about these events with such surety it is hard to not believe them.  And I believe that they are all spiritual women, leaders even.  DH however, has a hard time with all that they are saying.  He wants the proof.  (I've never been good with proofs, kind of ironic for a math major!!:) 

So last week after classes and hearing all this information, I came home and talked to DH on the phone for lunch, and I just went on a rampage, a rampage I didn't even know I had inside.  I chastised DH for not having an open heart and refusing to listen to what this group had to say.  I asked him to open his heart more and pray about these things before declaring unequivocally that they were not true.

After our conversation I didn't feel super good, but I didn't realize it.  I did however have this impression to call one of my amazing friends. I had no idea why I needed to call her, but I did!!:)  So I talked to her for a bit, and she kept digging and all of a sudden all of the "trial" came out to her.  She told me some of the exact same things that DH had said: stick to the basic doctrine, deep doctrine and speculations are not necessary for our salvation. She reminded me that I needed to talk with DH about the things that I learned and then we could study it out for ourselves and pray about it, but the decision that we come to is our decision and I need to support my husband in this.  I need to cleave to him, not my friends.

It was so powerful and a good reminder what my place is.  I know that when I start hearing all of these "prophecies" I start to worry that I still have so much to get ready and I am not at all ready, but this week, I've been reminded that I am doing what is right for me.  A lot of these moms are farther down the path then me and the expectations for them are going to be different than the expectations for me.

Since heeding that advice, I have felt so much clearer and free!:)  I am so glad for friends that give me the advice that I need (who are truly ministering angels!!:), and especially for a Heavenly Father who knows me and what I need and inspires me to follow His path to fulfill my personal mission!!:)

Creating a House of Order

So back in Dec./Jan. I read this blog post on thepeacefulmom.com!  She talks about creating a word for the year that you work on all year.  I decided that I wanted to do this (at least this year) and the first phrase that popped into my head was: "house of order," so I wrote the scripture from D&C 88:119 on my marker board and have been working on creating a house of order.

My first thoughts were I needed to create order to our routine, so I have been working on that (although there is still much to work on, we have made progress!:).  We sat down as a family for FHE and created some routines that we wanted to have.  We also added order to our prayer routine, and since we have 5 members of our family and should say 5 prayers every day then we created a rotation so that everyone gets to say 1 prayer every day!!:)  I love that since we started that there has been no whining or complaining about who gets to say the prayers!!:)

Then my thoughts went to organizing my house.  I searched online for House of order, found some websites, started working on purging my house, but I haven't gotten very far (really, I've only cleaned my bedroom and the storage room downstairs really good), but I am making progress in that aspect too!!:)

So in doing those 2 things I would create a house of order, and since it is only May and I still have 7 1/2 months of the year left, I figured I was doing pretty good, until yesterday when I was reading my scriptures.  I read in Moroni 9:18 that the people were "without order." That got me thinking, what does that phrase without order mean, does it have to do with righteousness?  So I decided to look up "order" in Merriam Webster's free app dictionary and then in Noah Webster's 1828 dictionary. I learned so much!:)

First of all you have the normal definitions that I think of (I didn't write down all of the definitions, because I felt like some of them didn't apply to my desire to create a house of order): 1 - put in proper place 2- straightening so as to eliminate confusion (I like this reason for creating a house of order, to eliminate confusion!:) 3-setting in a relationship - wait, there can be order to my relationships, oh yeah, there should be, you have grandfather, father, son, that is an order to a relationship, but this can go a lot deeper! 4- gathering and arranging in preparation of a particular operation or effective use.  Wow!:)  I felt like I needed to create a house of order to help our family prepare for something big that is going to happen (although I have no idea what this "big" thing is!:)  But this definition hit hard, creating a house of order is so much more important than creating routines and making sure your house is clean (even though these are included in it).  It is making sure that your life is ready for whatever may come.  It is making sure that everything has it's proper place. 5- arranging so that the whole works together-each part having a proper function.  This definition is so important for creating a house of order.  Everything has to work together and in order to do that, every family member must have a function and do their function correctly.  6- under religious rule.  I liked that definition, I don't know that I need to change much for that one, but I like it!:) 7- state of peace, freedom from confused or unruly behavior; shouldn't that be our goal, peace.

From Noah's dictionary I didn't get much more, but I liked some of the definitions: 1- order is the life of business; good order is the foundation of all good things. 2-care 3-purpose

So I have some things to work on in creating my house of order, but I also have some direction!!:)

Musing on Gift from the Sea

I recently read Gift from the Sea twice!  Yep, that's right, I read it twice.  I didn't intend to read it twice, but I joined a book colloquium and happened to read the book before I listened to the audio sent out for the club.  In the audio the mentor of the book club gave very specific instructions on how to read the book, which of course I didn't do because I didn't know them, and he encouraged us if we had read the book already that we needed to read it again, so I did!!:)

I learned so much from this book.  The most important lesson to me was to simplify my life!:)  In fact before the second reading I went through my 2 of my DD's clothes and allowed them to pick only 10 shirts each (they both had a drawer full of shirts!:)  It was amazing!!:)  I would love for my life to be more simple!!:)

The second time through I was told by the mentors of the club it was okay to disagree with a book and to ask specific questions.  I was also told to look for how the book teaches me about how to read a classic!!:) So with that, here is some of what I learned form Gift from the Sea:

What does this book teach me about reading a classic?  Well I must read for myself, because my mission is different than anyone else's including the authors! Keep it simple, I don't always have to come away with something profound!:)  I don't need to worry about impressing other people, I need to feel open and share what I really think.  I need to become lost in the classics and harmonize with them!:)  Read classics with a purpose, then I will be filled so I have no need of "candy" books (books that teach you nothing, but are enjoyable to read - most of the LDS fiction that I read falls into this category!:)  I need to pray as I read the classics.  As I read classics I can find my center and learn about myself!  The light shed by any good book illuminates all life!:)  I can't read all of the classics, so I must be selective, but I must read a variety!:)

What I disagreed with:  In the book she talks about a need to achieve balance.  I've written about this previously here.  But just to re-clarify, balance implies that everything is equal, we don't need that in life, we need harmony, where everything flows!  

In the book Anne Lindbergh declares that women's normal occupations (children, relationships) run counter to a saintly life.  I disagree, women's normal occupations lead to a saintly life!!:)  In rearing children and building relationships is true love and joy found!:)  When we are occupied in these occupations, we are turning to God and in a small way becoming like him!!:)

Anne talks about how we need to work from the outside in, but I think the only lasting change is if you change the inner.  If you do not change on the inside, then your outside change will not last.  Alma 60:23 (but throughout the wars this is proved time and again!:) it says, "Do ye suppose that God will look upon you as guiltless while ye sit still and behold these things? Behold I say unto you, Nay. Now I would that ye should remember that God has said that the inward vessel shall be cleansed first, and then shall the outer vessel be cleansed also."

She often mentions that women need solitude.  I think what she is saying is they need a time to meditate and talk to God and really know what he wants for them!!:)

Anne mentions that we are all island.  I both agree and disagree with her.  In some ways we are all islands, because we can only change ourselves, but we have a duty to other people to warn, and help, and in that way we are not all islands!  If we were meant to live life alone, then we would have been put on earth one at a time.

I don't agree that husbands and wives should take a lot of vacations separately, but I do think that we all need time to ourselves, to meditate and reflect on life!:)  If we regularly take this time, then we won't need a long vacation!:)  She also says that man and wife can't completely share with each other.  I disagree.  The scriptures command man and wife to become one and I know that it is possible, but it is only possible as both become one with God!:)

And here are some little nuggets that I learned: In order to touch others I must be in touch with myself.  We are hungry for purposeful giving and so we often try to fill that hunger with distractions.  Satan uses distractions to prevent women (and men) from filling their wells so they can really give.  In order to find yourself you must lose yourself!:)  I must find my true center on my own. In my community of friends I need people who are very different from me, different ages, gender, interests....  Modern communication loads us with more problems than the human frame can carry.  Because of the internet, TV, and newspapers we know of a lot more problems in the world, and it weighs us down.  As women we want to be able to help people and fix people, but our minds are overburdened with too many problems that we can't fix.  And finally the problems of the world can only be solved by men and women working side by side!!:)

I loved this book and I plan to read it again and again!!:)  I hope that you enjoyed what I wrote about it and maybe it has inspired you to check it out, it is a short book, that I believe is well worth your time!!:)

To vaccinate or not to vaccinate - to each his own!

I've seen a lot of pro-vaccination information especially on Facebook recently.  I get the feeling that a lot of my friends and family that are pro-vaccination are shaming me because I don't always vaccinate my children.
I am not completely anti-vaccination, however I am definitely not 100% supportive of all vaccinations for all children all the time.  I have vaccinated all of my children (dTap) and I even vaccinated myself in October (Tdap), so here are my opinions on vaccinations.

First of all I think we over vaccinate our children. I can see usefulness for some of the vaccines, but do most moms really need to vaccinate their infants with Hep. B (Hep B is a disease that can only be spread through the blood, like aids)?  In talking to a pediatrician he said that the reason that it is done at birth is because in busy hospitals (like in New York City and LasVegas) they will have moms come in off the street, deliver their babies and then leave.  So we have no idea where those women have been or what they have.  Now we vaccinate all babies against Hepatitis B.  Then there is the rotavirus vaccination.  I chose not to vaccinate my 2 youngest daughters with that one and both of them got it.  Was it fun?  Absolutely not.  We had diarrhea and throw up for about 2 weeks from both of them, but neither one of them ended up in the hospital, because I watched them for signs of dehydration (which is the reason the rotavirus is so scary) and I continually gave them electrolytes.

Does this mean that I think you shouldn't get these vaccinations, absolutely not.  Does it mean I think you should?  Again, no.  What I do think is that every couple has the ability to decide which vaccinations are right for their children.  I don't judge you for vaccinating your children, please don't shame me or judge me for not always vaccinating my children. I am doing what I feel is best for my children, and I believe that you are too!!:)

Truths learned from the First Vision to help us overcome the confusion from our day

So I gave a talk in church today.  I know it has been about 4 years since I last gave a talk.  I've been surprised that we haven't been asked in such a long time!!:)  Anyway the counselor in the bishopric called DH on Tuesday and asked us to speak.  He spent about 10 minutes explaining the topic to DH (which apparently he got it wrong:) anyway when DH told me what the topic was, I felt very overwhelmed and didn't even know where to start.  It really stressed me out (which isn't normal, I normally feel just fine giving talks in church).  He gave me a blessing and the blessing sparked an idea for my talk, which was enough for that moment.  Then the next morning I read through the First Vision and I came up with 4 main points that I wanted to talk about.  I spent a lot of yesterday working on my talk, here it is!:)

Almost 200 years ago Joseph Smith lived in a time where religious confusion abounded.  He says, “In the midst of this war of words and tumult of opinions, I often said to myself: What is to be done? Who of all these parties are right; or, are they all wrong together? If any one of them be right, which is it, and how shall I know it?” (JSH 1:10)

I don’t know about you, but I often feel confused. Should women hold the priesthood?  Why exactly is legalizing homosexual marriage a bad thing?  Now I want you to understand that I believe our prophets and I support 100% what they say, but I still have had these questions.  I still have felt confused.  Then there are the questions that haven’t been addressed by our prophets: What diet is the best for my family?  How should I best educate my children?  What is the best way to lead my family? Who should I vote for?  I have found many conflicting opinions in my quest to find answers to these questions.  I have often wondered, just as Joseph did, “who of all these parties are right; or are they all wrong together?  If any one of them be right, which is it, and how shall I know it?”(JSH 1:10)  

Bishop Gerald Causse, First counselor in the Presiding Bishopric wrote in the August 2012 Ensign, “All members of the Church at some time in their lives face moments that test the sincerity and strength of their testimonies. Braving these trials of our faith helps us stand firm in a world that is falling more and more into the depths of confusion. This confusion is evident in the barrage of messages that surround us. With the advent of the Internet, for example, an uninterrupted avalanche of contradictory opinions and information invades our everyday lives. These contradictions can become disconcerting and paralyzing.”

Luckily further study of the First Vision and the Restoration helps us to know that we don’t have to live in confusion!  God will lead us to experiences because he has a plan for us, the Atonement is real and He does answer prayers!

Heavenly Father is in charge of our lives!  As I read the First Vision I see Heavenly Father directing Joseph Smith’s family.  First of all he moves them to Palmyra where religious conflict is huge (and “conveniently” right next to where Moroni buried the gold plates), then  he inspires Joseph to read James 1:5, after reading that scripture Joseph records how he felt:

 “Never did any passage of scripture come with more power to the heart of man than this did at this time to mine. It seemed to enter with great force into every feeling of my heart. I reflected on it again and again, knowing that if any person needed wisdom from God, I did; for how to act I did not know, and unless I could get more wisdom than I then had, I would never know…At length I came to the conclusion that I must either remain in darkness and confusion, or else I must do as James directs, that is, ask of God. I at length came to the determination to “ask of God,” concluding that if he gave wisdom to them that lacked wisdom, and would give liberally, and not upbraid, I might venture.” (JSH 1:12-13)

Joseph didn’t just come upon that scripture.  We know his family studied scriptures on a regular basis, and we know that the Bible is full of scriptures that teach us that God answers prayers.  Joseph was led to this scripture that night because it was what he needed.  He felt such a power as he read that scripture. Listen again: “Never did any passage of scripture come with more power to the heart of man…it seemed to enter with great force into every feeling of my heart.”  Heavenly Father knew Joseph and He had a plan for Joseph.  He knew that reading this scripture and receiving such strong feelings would lead Joseph to venture to ask God.  And once Joseph asked, God could and would answer. 

I have felt led so often in my life; led on a path that I might not have chosen on my own, led to answers to my questions, led to feel more beautiful, led to true healing.  Last General Conference I saw a news article about the women who tried to get into the priesthood session at General Conference.  I decided to read the article because I wanted to know what crazy things these women had done in order to show their misunderstanding of church doctrine, but I was amazed at how respectful they were.  So I decided to look at their website.  After reading their website I felt extremely confused, a few days later I was led to read a blog that addressed this event.  The author of the blog answered all of my questions!  Then I saw a YouTube video where Sheri Dew was addressing this very issue and she again answered my questions!  Heavenly Father knew of my questions and He led me to find the answers.  Heavenly Father knows your questions too and He will lead you to find your answers.  Not all answers come immediately, but you are given knowledge “line upon line, precept upon precept” as you are ready for the answers.  Joseph studied and studied before he finally came to the conclusion that he could ask God.  We now know that we can ask God.

After Joseph decides to ask God, he goes to a private place, in the Sacred Grove.  He kneels down and he starts to pray: “I kneeled down and began to offer up the desires of my heart to God. I had scarcely done so, when immediately I was seized upon by some power which entirely overcame me, and had such an astonishing influence over me as to bind my tongue so that I could not speak. Thick darkness gathered around me, and it seemed to me for a time as if I were doomed to sudden destruction.  But, exerting all my powers to call upon God to deliver me out of the power of this enemy which had seized upon me, and at the very moment when I was ready to sink into despair and abandon myself to destruction—not to an imaginary ruin, but to the power of some actual being from the unseen world, who had such marvelous power as I had never before felt in any being.” Satan is real and so is his power.  However, Joseph learned that Christ’s power is greater, “just at this moment of great alarm, I saw a pillar of light exactly over my head, above the brightness of the sun, which descended gradually until it fell upon me…It no sooner appeared than I found myself delivered from the enemy which held me bound.” (JSH 1:15-17)

Elder David A. Bednar, in last April’s General Conference said: “The Father’s plan is designed to provide direction for His children, to help them become happy, and to bring them safely home to Him with resurrected, exalted bodies. Heavenly Father desires us to be together in the light and filled with hope. In contrast, Lucifer labors to make the sons and daughters of God confused and unhappy and to hinder their eternal progression. The overarching intent of the father of lies is that all of us would become “miserable like unto himself” (2 Nephi 2:27). Lucifer wants us ultimately to be alone in the dark and without hope.”

Satan’s power is intense and compelling.  And being “natural men” we all succumb to it, “for all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;” (Rom. 3:23) But just as Satan’s power is real, so is Christ’s.  Because of His Atonement, we all have the power to overcome Satan’s attempts to “lead us carefully down to hell.” (2 Nephi 28:21)

Of all the truths learned from the Restoration, a clearer understanding of the Atonement is one of the most important.  Because of the restoration we learn from Alma that Christ “shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.  And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.” (Alma 7:11-12)

Christ understands our pain.  Christ understands our weaknesses.  Christ still loves us!  Over and over again I hear the questions of people asking: how could God allow children to be born to parents who will abuse them, sell them into slavery, or where all they will know is hunger, or war?  How could God allow people to die in earthquakes, or tsunamis or tornadoes?  Why does God rescue some and not others, it is so unfair.  My only answer to all of this is Christ’s atonement.  He knows each of our pains, and he knows what is best for us to grow and become like Him.  He gives us experiences that will make us stronger and refine us!  I love the imagery from this scripture from First Nephi 21:15-16(Also found in Isaiah 49): “For can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? Yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee, O house of Israel. Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me.”  Kent F. Richards of the Seventy further clarifies in the April 2011 General Conference, “Sometimes in the depth of pain, we are tempted to ask, “Is there no balm in Gilead; is there no physician there?” I testify the answer is yes, there is a physician. The Atonement of Jesus Christ covers all these conditions and purposes of mortality.”

We also learn that we can be forgiven.  In D&C section 58:42 it reads: “Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more.”

The Atonement is powerful.  I know that in all my studying, my finite mind will never be able to fully comprehend the Atonement.  But I am thankful for the restoration of the gospel that has helped me to increase my knowledge and testimony of the Atonement.

God answered Joseph’s prayer, “I was answered that I must join none of them, for they were all wrong;” (JSH 1:19) and he will answer your prayers too!  Joseph’s prayer was unique to him and his circumstances.  I know of stories of many people, who prayed to find truth, but I only know of one person who prayed and received a visitation from God the Father and Jesus Christ and they only came once.  However, it was essential that they appeared to him in order for him to be able to fulfill his mission.  Joseph prayed many other times and his prayers were answered in so many different ways.  Sometimes he received an angel, sometimes he received a revelation, and I’m sure that sometimes he just received promptings or a feeling of peace. 

Because of the restoration we received the scripture: “Yea, behold, I will tell you in your mind and in your heart, by the Holy Ghost, which shall come upon you and which shall dwell in your heart.” (D&C 8:2)  What a relief it is to know that God will answer my prayers in my personal way.

Elder Richard G. Scott said in October of 1989’s General Conference, “Communication with our Father in Heaven is not a trivial matter. It is a sacred privilege. It is based upon unchanging principles. When we receive help from our Father in Heaven, it is in response to faith, obedience, and the proper use of agency.

It is a mistake to assume that every prayer we offer will be answered immediately. Some prayers require considerable effort on our part. True, sometimes impressions come when we have not specifically sought them. They generally concern something we need to know and are not otherwise able to find out…When He answers yes, it is to give us confidence.  When He answers no, it is to prevent error.  When He withholds an answer, it is to have us grow through faith in Him, obedience to His commandments, and a willingness to act on truth. We are expected to assume accountability by acting on a decision that is consistent with His teachings without prior confirmation. We are not to sit passively waiting or to murmur because the Lord has not spoken. We are to act.”

And then Elder Neil L. Anderson taught in the leadership training held last June: “As we act in faith, we often find that the blessings from the Lord are different than we expected but much better than we imagined.”

Often times it isn’t until we look back after the experience, or the trial is over that we can see God’s answer to our prayers, but I know that He loves us so much that He will answer our prayers in the way that is best for us!

Confusion abounds in today’s world.  It won’t go away until the Second coming of Christ ushers in the millennium.  We are wandering around in the mists of darkness, but we have a rod to hold onto.  We have truths that have been restored and we have living prophets and apostles.  As we heed those truths and listen to the words of our leaders we will stay safe from the “fiery darts of the adversary.” (1 Nephi 15:24) I know that we are led by a loving Heavenly Father and he only wants the best for us.  I know that we can use the Atonement to help us through our sufferings and our need to repent; as we learn more about the Atonement we can understand more about Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ’s love for us.  And I know that Heavenly Father answers our prayers in a way that is personal to us and will help us to accomplish our work on the earth. 

True Love

Love is such a broad term.  In Greek there are 5 different words for love, in English we have one.  When I was a kid, I went to someone's birthday party and I wrote a little note, and signed it: Love, LaRisa.  The kids there all thought that was so funny.  What I meant was the word "philia" or friendship love, but of course they misinterpreted it to mean "eros" romantic love (feelings).

Society focuses so much on eros.  But True love is so much more than eros. True love is becoming one mind, body, and soul.  It takes work, sacrifice, and commitment.  It takes communication, forgiveness, trust and patience.  True love isn't about being right; but about harmony.  When you have true love you are willing to serve your partner and you have respect for your partner, God, and yourself.  True love builds and lifts- creating synergy, rather than crushes and destroys.  True love is an action word, and when you use it you are always seeking to become better.

When I first met my DH, I didn't love him.  In all honesty I wasn't even interested in him.  I was going to go on a mission.  But God knew that we would make a good relationship, that we would be good companions for each other, and have harmony.  I fully believe that because I followed God's plan for me, I married my DH, and I am blissful! Trusting God in a relationship is key to it's survival.  Every relationship is so unique and different.  But I watch marriages with synergy and they are amazing!:)  I watch relationships that have different dynamics than my own and they are just as successful as mine.  You have to find what works for you and trust in each other and in God.

Recently I have been pondering about arranged marriages.  Picking your spouse seems to be relatively new (18th century).  As I have thought about arranged marriages, I have come to conclude that as long as a man and a woman are willing to serve each other and God, than any marriage can work, even if it doesn't start out with passionate 'eros' love.  

The world places too much emphasis on physical attraction.  But finding your spouse physically attractive is only one part of the equation, and trust me it is not the most important part, it will come.  I wonder if homosexuals stopped focusing on physical attraction what would happen.  God has given men and women separate roles, together they create the  greatest good.  Together they make 1, having 2 similar pieces can work, but there will always be something missing.

True love isn't built in a day or in a look and when you have true love, if you continue to build it, it will grow your whole life and into eternity.  The love I have now for my DH, will be nothing compared to the love I will have for him in 5 years.  The love I have for him now, I couldn't even fathom 5 years ago.  True love is amazing!

Scared

I've been feeling like I need to write my opinions on this blog, which some are highly controversial, and I keep thinking, well I can't write that, because of this friend who might read my blog, or I can't write that because I don't know enough information about it; not to mention the fact that I feel like I am not a good writer.  Then yesterday I was reading in Ether 12.  The chapter where he talks about his weaknesses.  Specifically his weakness in writing.  "And I said unto him: Lord, the Gentiles will mock at these things, because of our weakness in writing; for Lord thou hast made us mighty in word by faith, but thou hast not made us mighty in writing; for thou hast made all this people that they could speak much, because of the Holy Ghost which thou hast given them; And thou hast made us that we could write but little, because of the awkwardness of our hands. Behold, thou hast not made us mighty in writing like unto the brother of Jared, for thou madest him that the things which he wrote were mighty even as thou art, unto the overpowering of man to read them. Thou hast also made our words powerful and great, even that we cannot write them; wherefore, when we write we behold our weakness, and stumble because of the placing of our words; and I fear lest the Gentiles shall mock at our words." (Ether 12:23-25)

I know I have written controversial things before, but I guess I have recently become aware of how one post can be sent into cyberspace and then become viral.  (Not that I ever expect to write something that good:)  I'm scared of backlashes, and I guess I realize that I am just one person.  I have my ideas, my opinions, my thoughts, and they are constantly changing as I get new information, so something I write today might not be true in 2 weeks.  I guess that is part of "line upon line."  Anyway, I am going to keep updating his blog, and hopefully I can find the courage to write the real things that are in my heart and maybe help someone's life!:)

Trust in the Lord

I've been reading the book 21 Days Closer to Christ and I was challenged to share some things, specifically with a person, but I couldn't think of anyone specifically to share them with, so I thought I would share them on my blog and maybe the person who needed them would be able to find them.

First I was challenged to share how I turn to the Lord for direction and support.  I always turn to the Lord in prayer for direction and support.  I've recently changed my prayers to be more specific and to get more direction.  For example instead of "Please bless..." I now say "How can I help...what do you need me to do to help..." I pray for my husband, my children, my family and friends this way and it has been an amazing experience.  Sometimes as I ponder after asking I feel like there is nothing that I need to do for them at that time, but sometimes I get very specific responses as to what I need to do.  And as I do them I feel so good, and I truly feel like an instrument in the hands of the Lord.  I think because I am so regular in my prayers, my scripture study, my temple attendance, that I have the Lord close by me.  I know there are things that I can do better (like study more often than read!:) But I am honestly striving to be close to the Lord and as I do so He rewards me with ample revelation.  Sometimes I am asked how I know things, (like how I knew that DD3 was supposed to be born so close to DD2) and all I can say is that I pray about them and Heavenly Father tells me.  I honestly believe that it is one of my gifts, and is connected to my mission here on earth.
 I don't always receive answers like I want.  So many times I've prayed my babies will just go to sleep so I can get the sleep that I need and rarely did they actually go to sleep.  But I have had more patience and I was able to live without that sleep, or find different times to sleep.  He blesses in every way that he can.  There are divine correlations all around us and as we notice them we are blessed.  I truly feel that Heavenly Father is guiding my life and sending me places that I need to be to help me fulfill my mission.  There are so many times when I look back and think wow, I got that right then and it has changed me so much and was exactly the direction that I needed at that time.

Second I was challenged to tell how I have learned to trust the Lord.  For this one I'm not really sure.  Mostly it just seems that whenever I do I am blessed.  I look at my grandma and some choices that she made in not following the Lord and the many negative results from that...I know that has had a major influence on me.  I guess I learned to trust the Lord when I was really little and He answered my prayer.  Every since then I've known that He does answer prayers. I've seen it so much in my life.  Maybe this is a gift too, that I trust in the Lord.  I'm not perfect at it, I still make my own choices and don't listen to Him sometimes, but more and more I do choose to listen to Him and I've seen it bless my life and the lives of those around me.

Facebook

I am a Facebook addict.  I haven't always been and I go in cycles, but I am currently a Facebook addict.  I check it way too many times and spend way too much time looking at it when I am on.  So with that I have decided to try to control my addiction and limit myself to only 1 hour a week on Facebook.  We'll see how it goes.  Mostly I just need to spend my time doing much more productive things.  I would give it up completely but I feel like I can gain a lot from some of the things that I use on Facebook and those gains make it worth it to me to stay on Facebook.  So let's see if I can control this addiction!:)

Reading Scriptures

So the other day I was talking to my in-laws about scripture reading.  My DH and I are currently reading the Old Testament for our couple scripture study and we just finished Isaiah.  My in-laws commented on how they wished they could understand Isaiah better and I started to think, "What did I learn from Isaiah?"  Not a whole lot.  We just read it, we didn't discuss it or ponder it or learn from it, we simply read it.  I don't have a fear of Isaiah because I had a seminary teacher who loved Isaiah, and just his passion from it passed on to me so that  I don't fear it, but I wouldn't say that I take the time, study and spirit (see 2 Nephi 25:4) to understand it either.

I remember the first time I read through the Old Testament I had a much harder time understanding Jeremiah than Isaiah, so I've made it a point to try to understand Jeremiah.  What better time do I have to learn and discuss and question the scriptures than with my eternal partner?!:) And now we are only in chapter 6, but I feel like I am understanding Jeremiah!!:) 

Then the other night I was reading in my scriptures for my personal scripture study and I thought, I don't have very many questions, I want to learn.  So I started reading my scriptures with a desire to learn.  And then I read Mosiah 26:4 which says that if we know Christ than we are called.  So I wondered how do I know Christ?  So I did an index search of the word know and learned that we know Christ when we serve, by the Holy Ghost, and as a spiritual gift!:)

So I think that reading scriptures is way better than not doing anything, many days/nights I still just read my scriptures.  Sister Dalton challenged my stake to read 5 minutes every day and I can do that!!:)  And a seminary teacher challenged me to read every day even if it is only one verse, because one verse is better than not reading at all and it gets you in the habit. However, I know that studying and asking questions and seeking to understand is so much better for us!!:)  We can learn more from studying than we can from reading!!:)  And I think the Spirit is better able to guide us as we study and seek to know those things Heavenly Father would have us learn!!:)

Consumers

The other day I was cutting apples from my Grandma's tree to make homemade applesauce.  Many of the apples had worm holes and earwig holes that I had to cut out and it got me to thinking.  I didn't mind cutting out those holes and the destruction they caused because I knew that those holes were the result of pesticide free fruit!:)  Then I started thinking about when I go to the store.  Do I buy the fruit/vegetables that are bruised or damaged?  Most of the time I don't,  I spend extra time looking for the best looking fruit. That thought led to this next thought.  No wonder we use pesticides to get rid of bugs.  Consumers want bug free food, so to meet the demand of consumers, producers started using pesticides to get rid of the bugs so that they could sell enough product to make a profit.  That is when it hit me, I am part of the problem of pesticide-laden food.  It seems to me that we can't have it both ways, we can't have food that is pesticide AND bug free.  I feel bad for the farmers that are caught in this mixture of trying to meet all of consumer's wants.

Equality

Two things can be equal without being the same.  My favorite analogy of this is 4 quarters and a dollar bill.  They are worth the same, thus equal, but they can be used very differently.  Yes 4 quarters can fill in for a dollar bill, or a dollar bill can fill in for a quarter, but they have different purposes and are different, yet equal. 

In math you can have 2 equal equations that are not the same: x(x+2)=x^2+2x.  The left side of the equation is an easy way to find out what the equation equals when set to 0, but I'd rather substitute a number for x into the right side of the equation.  I'd also rather substitute the right side of an equation into another equation...

I was thinking this morning of going to Disneyland.  I've been to Disneyland many times, each time has been so much fun, equal in the level of fun, yet I've never gone to Disneyland with the same people, done the exact same rides, or had the same experience.

So why do we think that men and women have to do the same things to be equal?  I am no less equal than my husband because he has the priesthood.  I am no less equal than him because he goes to a job all day long and works to provide for our family.  I am no less equal than my husband because he has a master's degree.  I am DIFFERENT from my husband, but not unequal.  I bring different attributes and ideas to our marriage, but together we make harmony!:)  My husband sometimes plays the melody and sometimes I do, but we are united and strong, because we are different but equal. We both make major decisions for our family, we both share in the responsibilities of raising a family.  We both work together to make our marriage work, we both serve each other.  We are equal!!!:)

Sharing

Remember when you were a kid and begged your parents to let them bear your testimony?  Well maybe you don't because you weren't that kid, but I was.  I remember my dad telling me I had to wait until I was old enough, and then one day I became old enough and I stopped wanting to (I know sad...). I feel like I don't have any great experiences or anything important to share, so why get up there.

Anyway.  I was sitting in sacrament meeting today, it was at the beginning and I was toying with the idea of getting up and sharing my testimony.  And then my bishop called us to action.  He told us if we had those feelings to get up and share our testimonies.  (Just a note, I'm not in a ward that often has awkward pauses, in fact I can't remember the last time that we had one...)  I knew that he was speaking to me, so did I get up right away? No, not me.  I waited until the last minute and was the last person to bear my testimony.  Yep, pretty cool, huh. 

But I did get up!!:)  And I shared about how God has a plan for us (because He really does), he really wants to turn us into temples like one of the sisters from the Relief Society broadcast shared last night.  He wants to help us so bad, but we have to ask him for help.  Anyway, I know I shared more along those lines, but that was the topic!:)

And then after church I had 3 people thank me for sharing my testimony.  Wow, really, something I said made a difference.  Sometimes I feel so insignificant.  Sometimes I feel like I don't have anything worth sharing and that my experiences are so small compared to other people's.  Sometimes I feel unworthy of sharing what I know because I have so little experience.  (And sometimes I don't blog, because I don't have anything worth sharing.)  However, I am still an instrument in the Lord's hands and if I listen to Him, I can say things He wants me to say and do things he wants me to do, and become what he wants me to be.  The intermediate song last night really touched me:
It may not be on the mountain height
Or over the stormy sea,
It may not be at the battle's front
My Lord will have need of me.  This part is really how I feel sometimes, I don't have big trials, I don' feel needed...
But if, by a still, small voice he calls
To paths that I do not know,  even if they are small and seemingly insignificant
I'll answer, dear Lord, with my hand in thine:

I'll go where you want me to go, dear Lord,

Over mountain or plain or sea;

I'll say what you want me to say, dear Lord;

I'll be what you want me to be.

 

 Perhaps today there are loving words
Which Jesus would have me speak;
There may be now in the paths of sin
Some wand'rer whom I should seek.
O Savior, if thou wilt be my guide,
Tho dark and rugged the way,
My voice shall echo the message sweet:
I'll say what you want me to say.  Because I am his instrument!:)

There's surely somewhere a lowly place
In earth's harvest fields so wide
Where I may labor through life's short day
For Jesus, the Crucified.
So trusting my all to thy tender care,
And knowing thou lovest me,
I'll do thy will with a heart sincere:
I'll be what you want me to be.

And in the end that's all that really matters, being what God wants us to be, not our neighbors, not our friends, not our family, not the world, but God!

What is in your heart?

At the "Celebration of Real Beauty" event that I went to recently, Tara Starling spoke about using makeup as a tool instead of a mask.  She compared it to using a hammer to build or tear down a house.  The hammer is used the same way for both tasks, even the motion is the same; the only difference is the intent - or what is in your heart.  So many things apply to that.  When you give a gift what is your intent, to make someone happy or to look good?  When you invite someone to go with you what is your intent to make them happy, to make you happy (both:), to fulfill an assignment?  When you smile at someone, is it because they have broccoli in their teeth, or because you want to help them feel happy? It is all in the heart; which is a big reason why we our eternally judged on what is in our heart.  Sometimes I have to go through the motions and do something because I know it is the right thing to do, but I know that if I persist my heart will change and I will be able to do it for the right reasons!!:)  Sometimes I do things for the wrong reasons.  Sometimes I do things for the right reasons!:)

My DH and I recently finished reading The Count of Monte Cristo and we decided that a lot of that book is based on his heart.   Why he did the things he did was often to help him get revenge, his heart wasn't in the right place and the repercussions of that was that he wasn't happy.  Even though he did exactly what he wanted to do, he wasn't happy.

So I suggest that when we do things for the right reasons, or at least try to do them for the right reasons we will be happy.  And not the artificial happiness, but the real true Godly happiness!:)  Sometimes it might just be for a fleeting moment that you can feel that happiness, but it does happen!:)  I can't judge what is in your heart.  I can only judge what is in my heart (and I can judge fictional characters, because they are fictional and might help me better analyze my own motives!!:).  But I challenge you to look into your heart and figure out why you do the things you do.

Being healthy and beautiful

So yesterday was the second ever Celebration of Real Beauty event; I loved the last one so much that I went again (and took my sisters!:)  Anyway while we were there we went to a vendor called isagenix.  They wanted us to guess our metabolic age, so we did, and then they told us how close we were (I was 25).  Anyway, it was so confusing and I felt like that company really didn't jive with the rest of the messages about how we are all beautiful.  So I decided to do this post on BMI.  I did do a little research on the internet, but most of this post is based on my own experience and what I remember from classes back in college!:)

First of all BMI is not the most accurate test for telling if a person is overweight, for the biggest reason, it doesn't factor in a person's muscle weight. It is simply how much you weigh divided by your height squared.  When finding out how fat you are, there are a lot of other tests that you can take and a lot better ones.

This test we took to discover our metabolic age told my SIL that she needed to lose about 5 pounds, but she was 7 pounds under her perfect BMI.  How does that make any sense?  Then my SIL's mother came and they told her she was obese.  That didn't make any sense to me.  I wouldn't call her obese by any means, overweight, yes, but obese? Wow.  I'm sure that made all her training for 5Ks and triathlons (yeah she'd run a triathlon that morning.) worth it.  My SIL said that she was the healthiest that she had been in a really long time.

Anyway, my point is that BMI doesn't  describe how healthy we are.  It doesn't describe how beautiful we are.  I decided to put my scale away and I have felt so happy about where I am physically since I did that, instead of worrying am I at my perfect BMI, which is about 136 pounds, and I currently weigh 143.  I am still healthy.  I try to eat right, I exercise - and I'm getting even better at exercising!!:) At this point in my life it isn't a priority, my kids are. So when I use these tools to tell me how healthy I am and how beautiful I am I am just making myself feel bad.  And honestly I don't need anything else to point out how bad I am, because those pressures are all around me.  I need things to help me feel good about myself and valuable and beautiful!:)  Because I am and so are you!!:)  Society is so good at telling us that beautiful is this or that, but it isn't.  We are all so beautiful.  We are all daughters of God!!:)  So celebrate your beauty, celebrate you and your uniqueness!!:)

Exercise

So recently I've noticed something in myself.  When my allergies picked up the beginning of August I stopped exercising because I felt so yucky,  and then I had a harder time with stressful situations that occurred (like car repair problems *3, or kids).  I'd only been exercising for about 20 minutes 2-3 times a week, but it made a huge difference for me.  This week I started exercising again and I feel so much better.  It is amazing to me that such a little thing can make such a big difference.  When I finally made the connection I remembered this post that I had read a while back: http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/07/03/how-exercise-can-calm-anxiety/?smid=fb-share&_r=0
on exercising mice.  In my own experience now I can say that I agree with the results of this study.

Another thing that I have found is exercising is exercising...5 minutes is better than nothing.  Sometimes all I can do is 5 minutes, but when I do it I feel that much better!!:)  My brother told me about a site called, sworkit.com and I love it!!:)  It gives you random circuit training exercises and you don't need any equipment to do them.  Sometimes I do a harder workout and sometimes I'm like I can handle doing some stretching in between my workouts today.  The best part for me is that you can set it to do just 5 minutes!!:)  It is so awesome and I paid $1 for the app and now can see videos if the pictures they put up aren't clear enough.  I love this program!!:)

So I think I'm going to start exercising every day since it really is so good for me, even if it is only 5 minutes!!:)  I like being able to handle stress in my life!!:)